Avoid arguing whether or not they are already “home”
For someone with dementia, "home" can mean more than just where they live now. When they say they want to go home, they often mean a feeling of comfort and safety, not a specific place. This idea of home might bring up happy memories or represent a place where they felt relaxed. Sometimes, it might even be an imaginary place. It’s usually best not to argue with them about where home is, but to listen and understand their feelings.
Reassure them of their safety
The desire to go home is a natural feeling that anyone might have in an unfamiliar place. It's important to reassure the person with kind words and, if appropriate, gentle touches or handholding. Let them know they are safe. It can also help to remind them that they are still cared for, especially if they are in a different place than they used to be. They need to feel that they are valued and supported.
Try diverting the conversation
Keep a photograph album handy. This could be a physical book or photos on a tablet or smartphone. Sometimes looking at pictures from the past and being given the chance to reminisce will ease the person’s feelings of anxiety. Alternatively, you could try shifting the person's focus from home to something else - such as food, music, or other activities, such as going for a walk.
Assess what needs are not being met
Is your loved one cold? Are they too hot? Are they hungry? Is it too bright or too dark? Is your loved one thirsty or in any sort of pain? The cause of your loved one’s anxiety or agitation could be from an unmet need. Ask yourself these questions to get to the root of the cause!
Acknowledge how they are feeling in the moment
While correction might be one’s first instinct, try first empathizing with how they are feeling. The simple truth is not often recommended with dementia because we are applying OUR code of ethics to THEIR damaged brains which require and seek comfort to stay calm. Therapeutic Fibs are recommended as needed and shouldn't be looked as as "sinful lies" but common sense logic, given the disease at play.
When caring for someone with dementia, it’s essential to approach their feelings and needs with understanding and compassion. Because they are dealing with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, what they say does not always corelate with how they are feeling. Here are some ways to make your loved one feel at home when they don’t feel at home.
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